Grandma Advice- Picking Your "Grand" Name

Grandma alert!  Grandma alert!  Or better yet - soon to be grandma alert!!

 

OK- now don't get excited.  This is not a grandbaby announcement or a even a daughter-in-law pregnancy announcement.  This is not quite, but almost as important- it's a "what to call Grandma announcement" and believe me-- I have advice worth listening to!

 

You see, when a woman is told she is going to be a grandmother for the first time, there's a sudden wave of emotions and thoughts that immediately overcome her such as:

• "How can this be?  I'm not that old!"
•  "But my son/daughter was just a baby himself/herself just a few years ago!"
•  "Grandma!??  I need to go shopping!"

But let me tell you, there's one more thing that you need to take into serious consideration-

"What's this precious little gift from God going to call me?" 

Yes, long after that truck load of diapers you bought are used and disintegrated in the landfill --- long after that cute little outfit you purchased from the "Grandma's =  No Price Too High $tore" is outgrown and sold on a garage sale for $1.00 --- long after that potty chair is clean-up, cleaned-up, and clean-up again and put away in the attic (Hey!  Why didn't that go on the garage sale?), there will be one thing that hangs around, sometimes for the rest of your life.  It's the name your grandchild calls you.  Now that's important!

Well, let me tell you, this grandma had a lot to learn when I was told I was going to become a first-time grandma.  One of the first questions my son and daughter-in-law asked was, "what name do you want this new baby to call you?"  I didn't even hesitate.  My answer was, "Oh my grandchild will figure that out on their own!"  My first grandmother mistake- HUGE!

You see, I knew my grandchild was going to be smart, but what I didn't know was that she also was going to be a comedian!

So that's how it all began.  About a year and a half after the birth of our little Joslyn, I was babysitting and trying to convince our little angel to eat her breakfast.  The poor little thing hadn't eaten hardly anything the day before, yet she refused even a bite.  Could it be that she just wasn't hungry?  Yesterday's cookies, popcorn and a couple of popsicles couldn't  have possibly filled her up, could they?  What's the matter with this kid?  So, after what seemed like a half hour of "come on sweeties" and doing the old airplane spoon trick and receiving nothing but refusals in return, I merely said "Joslyn, Grandma doesn't like crabby girls.  Please have a bite!"  How bad could that be, right?  I thought it would be a statement that would instill action and would soon be forgotten.  Well, not even close!!! 

That night when my husband came home from a long day at work, he happened to politely comment about the dirty pancake dishes still sitting in the sink.  (Ok - they were still on the table and skip the politely!)  Well, our observant little Joslyn must have seen me roll my eyes because she immediately commented, "cobby poppo!"  Needless to say, I spent the next five minutes rolling in laughter!!  Our angel had just referred to her grandpa as crabby!  Now, where did she get that from?   

So, fast forward a few days.  Joslyn has gone home and our phone begins to ring.  Jerry answers to hear this innocent little voice saying, "No - I wanna talk to cobby gammo!!   Thus begins the reign of  "CRABBY GRANDMA"!

It didn't take long and my kids, my husband, and even I got used to the name,"cobby gammo".  Heck, I became so used to it, I even started answering to it.  Oh well, it was kind of cute.  No one would ever know what she was talking about anyway, right?  WRONG!

A couple of months later, I took Joslyn grocery shopping at our local Super Foods.  I was excited.  It was another chance for me, the proud grandmother, to show my little princess off.  We carted through the aisles and soon it was time to check out.  So, as I'm standing in the check out lane, Joslyn happens to eye the notorious gumball machine and bolts for it!  Before I could even take a step, out came these words, and I'll never forget them-  "I WANNA GUMBALL CRABBY GRANDMA!" Oh my goodness!  My granddaughter was growing up and so were her language skills!  I could have crawled in a hole!  Even the "look like she's talking to someone else" trick didn't work.  I was pinned for life! 

So here we are today, not only do we have a nine year old Joslyn, but we also have 4 1/2 year old Maggie-- and the name "Crabby Grandma" has lingered on -- until just last week. 

It was on a Sunday.  My daughter-in-law, the girls and I are in the car and it was the normal girl talk until little Maggie thoughtfully blurts out the question, "Gramma.  Why do we call you Crabby Gramma?  You're not crabby!" 

My daughter-in-law (God bless her) quickly replies, " You are right, Maggie.  It's time to give Grandma a new name.  What would you like to call her?" 

Maggie ponders, ponders and ponders a bit more and then --  then ----- then--- wait for it--- she says, "Hmmmm.  Grandma Kitty Farts! Let's call her "Grandma Kitty Farts!" 

OMG -- my 6th grade grandparents' day name-tag just changed from "Crabby Grandma" to "Grandma Kitty Farts!"  I can hardly wait! 

Well, let's see.  Crabby Grandma lasted 8 years.  If Grandma Kitty Farts lasts as long, Joslyn will be 17 and Maggie will be 12.  Hmm- do grandparents wear name tags at graduation?   Well at least no one will forget my name!     


So grandmas to be- take my advice!  Whether it be "Gramma", "Nana", "Granny" or even the traditional "Grandmother", make a choice and make it now!  Don't wait for your grandchild's creativity to kick in.  Be smart and help the little angel out- as this endearing title will probably follow you a few days or most likely for the rest of your life!  Lord help us all!