I've always loved music. I'm one of those who believes that music can change the outcome of the day. For example, ever have a bad day? Turn on some music! Feeling a bit blue? Turn on some music! No one will listen to you? Turn on some music and sing - sing at the top of your lungs! Especially if you've got a voice like mine! That will make them listen - and - probably not in a good way! Yes music! I absolutely love it! Too bad it doesn't love me back.
Let me explain. With all my love for music, you would think music would love me back. I mean really! How could someone who loves music to the millionth degree, be denied even one single note of musical talent? Honestly, I should have been blessed with a voice as smooth as a warm summer breeze, as flowing as a trickle of water drifting down a lazy brook, or heck- I'd even settle for a voice as smooth as a baby's butt, but heck no! No such luck! Do you know what a cat sounds like when you step on its tail? That would be me! Yep! Music doesn't love me back!
For as long as I can remember, I have dreamt of being center stage, all eyes on me, belting out a vivacious song that would dig deep into the souls of my audience. My voice would some what replicate that of a winner on American Idol or The Voice. Perhaps a revived Stevie Nicks, Carly Simon, or Janis Joplin- any of those. Yes! In my dreams, I can rock a stage like no other.
So just the other day, I had my chance. Out of the blue, I received an invitation to sing at an international conference! Yes me - the pained cat, had a chance to hit the stage! Let me further explain. It all started like this...
A while back, an organization I belong to, was fishing for volunteers for an international conference that will be held in Iowa later this fall. With thousands of guests coming from all over the world, they were in desperate need of assistance. Their plea sounded urgent. Would I possibly be able to help?
So volunteer I did. After careful consideration of the numerous committees, I selected "music and ENTERTAINMENT". I had a reason for this choice, hoping I could possibly be a candidate for ENTERTAINMENT - you know- so I could share a bit of my public speaking. Well, so much for best laid plans!
So last week, I receive an email thanking for my response and asking me to share my musical experiences! Imagine that! The committee consisted of music teachers, choir directors, musical performers, composers, etc. Heck, for all I know, all these women could have previously been back-up singers for Stevie, Carly, and Janis!!!! And then there's me - the yelping cat! Oh brother!
So, what's a girl to do? Well, she fesses up - that's what! So here's my written confession:
Dear Madam Chairwoman;
Thank you for your gracious invitation to join the "Music and ENTERTAINMENT"
committee. What an honor to be asked to join such a musically talented group.
However; before I accept this invitation, I feel there are some minor details you may
need to know. They are as follows:
#1 I am an ENTERTAINER (or at least try to be)
#2 I have not sung publicly for over 40 years; however, I must admit
#3 I can belt out a boisterous, "I'm a Brick House" every night as I prepare supper.
I apologize for my misconception, as I had no idea that the "Music and
ENTERTAINMENT" committee would include "music". Silly me!
On the other hand, I do possess some rather bizarre musical talents which you
might possibly be able to use. They are as follows:
#1 I am a superb lip-syncer
#2 I play a mean air guitar, (think Joan Jett- our styles are very similar) and last
but not least
#3 I still have my high school baton and I still remember my routine.
If you could use any of these services, I'm your gal!
Sincerely,
Diane Stamp
Well, it wasn't long and my anxiously awaited reply arrived. It read as follows:
Dear Diane,
Thank you for your insightful response. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Pleasantries,
pleasantries, pleasantries. We are in need of a highly musically inclined
page turner and we have reserved that dignified position for you....
Respectfully yours,
Madam Chairwoman
Hmmm --- page turner ---- I wonder if that's how Carly got her start?
Oh well --- I love music and I will continue to sing! Even if no one is listening!
