No Complaints Here

As I was watching the Today show this morning, Sheinelle Jones asked Carson, Al, Savannah, and all their viewers to join in the "Complaint Free Challenge".  Evidently some dude named Will Bowen started this worldwide challenge in an attempt to get people to stop whining.  Apparently, according to Will, complaining is sucking the happiness out of all of us. 

So it turns out Will suggests doing this challenge for 21 days.  I suppose that's because it's been said a new habit can be formed after 21 days of repetition.  However; Shenielle suggested doing it for only seven days - a week - just a week.  It can't be that difficult, can it?


So - I'm game.  Even though, I know it will be hard for me (oops!  Is that a complaint?)  You see many times I find humor- yes humor- in complaining, and you know me, I love to laugh. Now, don't get me wrong.  I'm really not an insensitive person.  However; I have been known to laugh at some inappropriate things.  Not just complaining.  There's also falling, tripping, and bodily noises.  I don't know how many times I've received a spanking for laughing when my brother fell down the steps, or when my brothers and I started a belching contest at the kitchen table, let alone a few other unmentionables.  I found it hilarious, even though I knew that that laughter would more than likely provoke a sting to the buttocks. 


So, back to complaining. I'm sorry.  I can't help it!  It's funny!  Have you heard some of the things people b-t-h about now a days?  My - oh - my!  Here's just a few that come to mind:

• I'm so tired.  (So is the entire world population!  How late did you stay up last night?  Late night TV is way over-rated - except if Cher is on Jimmy Fallon- that's excusable.   Other wise -  get over it!  Go to bed and get some Z's.)
• I'm so hung over.  (Well how the heck did that happen?  Maybe four glasses of that jungle juice was enough, ya think?  Besides - shut up!  I've got a headache!)
• I can't find a job.  (Has anybody told you that you first need to apply?  Come on!  Pull up those droopy drawers and cover up that butt crack! I don't care who you are.  No one wants to hire someone that looks like a walking ATM machine!)
• I'm hungry.  ( Oh!  That one!  How many times have I heard that?  We just ate a half an hour ago!  Get out a skillet and make yourself a grilled cheese--- and ---- STAY OUT OF MY OREOS!)

You know, Psychology Today, says that the average person complains 20 - 30 times a day. Really? I'm thinking they don't know the Stamp family.  I would put our average at more like 50 times a day.  Pathetic, isn't it?   Yeah- I can't help it.  We like to laugh!


OK - so I guess some things have gotta change.  Enough whining!  I can't afford to sacrifice any happiness, so I'm all over this "Complaint Free Challenge.  I don't care if it's funny or not - no more complaining!  So friends- I'm asking.  If you hear me complain in the next seven days (ok, let's face it - it's going to take me 21 days), you have my permission to slug me.  Yep!  Just slug me in the arm.  Now don't get vicious.  Just a gentle little slug.  You know- kinda like the slugs we gave each other in the 60s and 70s when we saw a volkswagon.  Remember?  Slug bug!  Yep!  You've got it! 


And remember ----- if by chance I happen to slug ya back, DON'T COMPLAIN!!!